I mentioned in a previous post that I am reading “So Long, Insecurity” by Beth Moore. From the moment I read the title, I felt that this would be a great book for me to read. I have been burdened with insecurities most of my life. Of course we live in this society with an “immediate gratification” philosophy. I will read some chapters, feel inspired and the pounds of insecurity will just melt away. Sounds good, no? It does, but it is not at all reasonable. No, I have to dig deep. I actually have to face the facets of myself that frustrate me, haunt me, shame me and outrage me.
I don’t think that there is a single person out there that wants to be a slave to irrational fears. No woman aspires to being hysterical 100% of the time. We resent it when we see it in other people and, speaking for myself, would rather not acknowledge it in ourselves. Beth Moore is not going to let her readers get away with that!
In our little community of friends, neighbours, classmates, co-workers, fellow worshipers and family members, I wish that we could all be honest with each other about what drives our fears. Can you picture that? Hundreds of women responding openly to a roll-call of insecurities. It almost sounds dangerous. Would it change how we feel about each other? Definitely. I think of what a friend of mine shared about a woman she saw at the park. This woman was gorgeous. She was the type we would think “has it all.” She didn’t, however. She was recently divorced and suffering from terrible loneliness. What would it be like to look at the women who are confident, stunning, composed, popular, funny, and well-dressed and know that they don’t feel any better about themselves than we do about ourselves.
These are common ‘false positives’ or sources of insecurity:
“If only I could be thinner.”
“If only I were prettier.”
“If only I had a good man in my life.”
“If only I were more out going.”
“If only I were funnier.”
“If only I were smarter.”
“If only I had more education.”
“If only I had more job security.”
“If only I were popular.”
“If only I had more money.”
“If only I were apart of the ‘in-crowd.’”
“If only I had children.”
“If only [fill in the blank].”
I think everyone should take time to ponder what fear is motivating them. For me, my insecurities are based on my appearance and relationships. I value myself on how I appear and on how I am treated. When I am a few pounds heavier, I don’t feel fit to leave the house and face people. I am more disciplined with exercise and diet when I am doing it to please a man, which in turn will help me feel better about myself. How sad is that, really? If you summed up your ‘false positives’ in a few straight-forward sentences, I think that you would feel the same way I do. You would be stunned and torn between bawling in shame or laughing at your own ridiculous thoughts.
The bottom line is to be happy in who we are, right? More than that. We need to be happy in who God created us to be and draw security from Jesus who dwells with in us. This will sound far-fetched to someone of different beliefs. However, it is true. Knowing that there is an all-powerful God who created us with great detail and purpose is life changing.
Tonight, I felt led to look at my life through a different perspective; through the confident side of my soul that is nourished by Jesus love for me. Whether you believe in Christ or not, it is something worth trying. Look back 6 months, perhaps more, and honestly list the series of trials and triumphs you have been living through. Don’t spend any time focusing on regrets or mistakes. Just look at all the good things you have experienced and accomplished in the light of difficulties you have been facing. I am not going to list mine here but I will say that I saw so much good. I could see my successes, the battles I have overcome, the times I was confident, the times I was strong, and I saw my plans for the future. There was a lot to be proud of and thankful for. Bottom line? I did it all without weighing 120 pounds or having Mr. Right whispering ‘sweet nothings’ in my ear.
Let me say that again:
Look at Your Life + All Accomplishments & Triumphs – Things You Wish You Could Change About Yourself = A Lot to Be Secure About!!!
+ You took a courageous new move/step in your life – without being 10 pounds thinner.
+ You received good grades/evaluations at your school/job – without having the ideal man in your life.
+ You made a difference in someone’s life through love and kindness – without being the popular one.
+ You survived an illness/loss with strength inspiring many others – without being more attractive.
+ You are smart and successful at what you do – without being perfect and in control of everything.
+ You have a loving family all around you that gives you great joy – without having a mansion and the money to keep it running.
+ You are a single mother raising children that are smart, talented with great potential who are healthy and know that they are loved – without a man or a better job or more money or a nicer home with nicer furniture or without you being the smartest, thinnest, prettiest, wittiest woman in town!
You are living a blessed, successful life with many things to be thankful for and you are doing it without even being secure in whom you are. You did it being who you are; not more like someone else.
I did it without being at my ideal weight or being married with four children! I did it with the strength and character with which God has given me!
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